My guilty pleasure…well one of them actually,

 

Watching Loose Women whilst eating my lunch

 

Love the candid transparency of it …do you watch it?

 

I love the way I relate more to one of the panel more than the others

 

And yes, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Katie Price, who has recently joined the

 

panel is actually growing on me!!!!

 

They were discussing one of the RULES of growing older the other day

 

“Women over 40 shouldn’t wear a bikini!”

 

The minute that word “shouldn’t” or indeed “should” appears,

 

alarm bells start ringing in my ears

 

 

As women we are exposed to so many “shoulds”, standards and

 

labels as we grow older

 

We can feel pressurized to consider categories and social norms

 

What should a woman 40+ look like, dress like, sound like, feel like?

 

I don’t judge any of it. I wouldn’t change even if I knew the answers.

 

But I sense that aging is a bit more throwing for women than it is for men,

 

especially for those, who put a lot of emphasis on their looks and body, like I did,

 

for such a long time.

 

 

But there is one big thing I’m enjoying about getting older.

 

The power you get from actually LIKING yourself a lot more!

 

Yes, your skin looks and feels different, but, you start to feel comfier in it.

 

You start to realize that your self worth is NOT directly related to your figure.

 

You begin to see that you’re actually pretty damn brilliant.

 

 

You lose some urgency and anxiety about needing it all right now.

 

You don’t compare yourself to others as much because hey, we’re all pretty

 

amazing and there’s plenty for everyone.

 

I look back to my 20’s, even 30’s. Nothing was ever enough.

 

I wasn’t fit enough, my job wasn’t enough, Was I a good enough Mum?

 

We didn’t go on holiday enough, we didn’t eat well enough,

 

We didn’t earn enough money….

 

I poured every ounce of time, attention and will power into attaining “the perfect life”

 

I needed results, NOW!

 

This urgency required extreme measures. Quick fixes.

 

You see them so often in the pursuit of weight loss at the expense of everything else

 

including self-compassion and self-worth.

 

Perhaps you’ve tried some? Most women have at some point.

 

But does it have to be that way now? Aren’t you totally fed up with that?

 

 

Now a days I am finding a lot of pleasure in the maintenance of

 

“pretty good” in the body department:

 

My strength is pretty good.

My fitness is pretty good.

My level of thinking about food is pretty good.

I eat pretty healthy.

 

Now, “good enough” is plenty.

 

It opens up the time and mental space to put toward nurturing my relationships,

 

supporting my children, building my business, pursuing my hobbies, not generally

 

being stressed all the time that I’m not enough.

 

I want to exercise effectively, but not for hours. I want to eat healthy,

 

but also enjoy myself. I want to maintain my figure, but not at the expense of my

 

relationships. I just want to feel good. I want my clothes to fit.

I want to not have to think about my body all that much.

 

Extremes are too hard, even in the short term.

 

Gosh, I think I love getting older ;)

 

Oh and should you wear a bikini? Hey go topless if you want!

 

Allison x

 

 

By the way if you want to know more about how we role here at Zig Zag,

 

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